I tagged along for a friends high school reunion a year or so ago. I was there, for the same reason I thought anyone would go to one of those social train wrecks: to try and get laid. Amazingly, many people there were married, in a serious relationship or functionally asexual. I really expected that the only reason anyone would ever go to a high school reunion was to get laid. I actually kind have always read the phrase "high school reunion" as a euphemism for trying to get laid. It's sort of like, casual encounter, bachelor party, or business lunch.
Apparently people go to these horrid functions for reasons other than having sex with a girl who's boob you bumped with your elbow on accident in history class, and for some reason never were able to forget. Some people go to "catch-up." It seems to be that the one good thing about facebook, is that it can answer these random curious urges to find out who went to jail, or whatever. Reunions have become obsolete.
My ten year reunion is in a couple weeks. I really only have one friend who I still talk to from high school and he lives closer than the high school, and if I desperately wanted to see him, he's on TV occasionally. I'm not going. I imagine, that catching up" alternates between a pissing contest about who's house is nicer, and reminiscing about boy bands and sitcoms or whatever the fuck high school kids talk about.
Someone from my graduating class has become world famous (or at least nationally famous). I never knew him, but I've heard he's nice, and he seems nice on TV. No matter how nice he seems, I can't support him though. It's only because he's famous for becoming one of the greatest heros in professional sports, which means that even if I fucking cure cancer or wrote a canonized novel, he'd still be the famous one from our class. Asshole.
Now I only have five to ten years to reunite with that girl who's boob brushed by elbow 12 years ago, before her boobs start brushing knees. When's the next reunion?
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